So here we are!
Parisian life Part/Year Deux.. but we in the Suarez-Flores household call it Season 3, as far as Parisian life changes go. We have been back around a month now, after our trip to the US, but with the flourish of guests… our work schedule… and settling back in, I have barely had a moment to breath let a lone write.
Season 1 was our first job. Season 2 was the move to unemployment and then quickly luckily into new employment. Season 3… is what I shall call… actually settling into Parisian life.
But first some reflection and advice… Primarily: Learn the language.
So what is life like?
- We work a lot.
- We eat a lot.
- We walk everywhere.
- We teach dance weekly.
- We travel when we can.
- We fumble around with French.
Really not much different from Season 2… but it feels different.
Well, the big difference is where my head is at. I am fed up.
Before, with so much uncertainty, it was okay to be confused at all times… It was okay to frown but accept weird charges on my phone bill. It was okay, to be at odds at all times. It was okay, to accidentally order three soups instead of two. Why? Because we were new here and this is what we took as the cost of being an expat in a country where the language was not our native one.
In fact, being back in the US for those 3 weeks it felt WEIRD to finally not be uncomfortable at all times (which is a post for another time). Not a complaint… but it made me laugh how used I had gotten to being uncomfortable.
And now I am back.. and I no longer want to be uncomfortable… I am sick of being apologetic and akward. I want a “normal” Parisian life (which will always include apology and formality I realize, as is their way). I want my old confidence back in my surroundings… I want..
I want the American Dream!
The American Dream in Paris is to blend in. To order wine with ease. To meld with your sometimes bewildering French colleagues (because trust me… working in a different country is well, different). To be able to complain about the weather with your fellow boulangerie patrons. Perhaps, it is not the dream for some of the famed ugly american tourists, but it truly is for us Expats that have fallen in love, figured out how to move here and now call this mystical/sometimes mythical place home.
We want to be French.
Or at least succeed at becoming French for our time here.
And right now, despite the support of my French and international friends I have yet to achieve that comfortability.
And its my fault.
Í have yet to achieve it because I do not know the language fluently.
There are jaded and not so jaded expatriates that will tell you otherwise about achieving this dream of fitting in… They will tell you that Paris is for the French. That you will never fit in. I have heard this on several occasions.
Well, first of all I do not want to fit in with those types of exclusive Parisians, which I know those exist. I just want to be able to live my life normally and interact with them if need to but otherwise interact with the awesome accepting/welcoming/funny French/Parisians that I have met.
But I will never feel at ease here until I learn the language…
Until I see a charge on my phone bill and then can call up and speak in French and explain and get although probably begrudging… but at least palpable… assistance to fix it. Or at least understand what they say when they hang up on me.
My cable has been on and off broken now for a year… And I live in fear of speaking to a human to fix it.
This is not I!
So I must learn French… I want to… I always have… but with not working in French, I have not made the effort enough outside of work to become fluent. I am fine… I can mumble out some food words… or talk to a foreign french speaker.
But that is not enough. As I live in fear of probably 95% of potential interactions I may have with the populace on a given day. I need to get this down to at least a solid 25%. Because it is isolating and damned uncomfortable.
SO THAT IS MY VOW.
I will conquer you Paris… and your beautiful mystifying and sometimes odd sounding but beautiful language. I will gnaw on the metaphorical skull that is your language.
And how! No really… how?
I have some tools I want to share in detail later but basically:
- Devouring all culture possible in French only. Bought us an unlimited movie pass for two people for 35EUR a month!
- Only French spoken now at home (no joke).
- Flashcards… lots of digital flashcards.
- Reading fun stuff in French on my kindle, thanks to the help of a french dictionary I installed on it. Should probably switch to a French to French dictionary…
- Actually talking to people in French. Like a real person!
- Listening to podcasts as much as humanely possible, all in french.
- Hope to start journaling in French soon.
- Finishing my grammar lessons at home… (also a pending todo)
Allons !- S