Life advice – Learning Machine

10 Unexpected Benefits of Buying More Consciously… or Not at All!

Saying no to treating myself to that new watch or stopping my Amazon Prime… What a sad world!

Actually, no! There is a transition period, but…

Becoming a conscious consumer has made me happier, healthier, freer, and more present.

I treat myself well. I just have removed “stuff as a solution” from the equation.

So, if you are considering becoming a conscious consumer (ecological and social concerns), minimalist, or zero-waste... Have no fear! Here are some of the benefits you could enjoy.

NOTE: I am not striving to be nor I am perfect. Nor do I advocate for “perfection.” These are some of my reflections mid-journey. I leave out the ecological and humanitarian benefit, which is ++++ but less obviously touches our daily lives.

1. More disposable income and time

Duh, I suppose. Buying consciously often means buying less which means more money at your disposal. This can then be spent on experiences, food (yum) or big ticket items that mean more to you. Better yet, it can be saved so you can work less! My husband and I have our own company and we have been able to move down to four day work weeks, partly in thanks to our spending habits and…

2. Realization how little stuff you need to be happy

Sometimes I laugh at ads that try to convince me how their product will make me happier. It almost feels like a super power in this digital targeted-ad world to no longer feel the pull of consumerism. Though this perception shift does not come overnight, it is a gift in tough times:

Realizing you can be happier with “less” because you already have so much.

3. Super Sheila: Impervious against impulse buys

Cutting down on disposable plastic means you just breeze past half of the options in stores. I just do not consider it and now I do not even miss it.

4. Eat fresher and healthier

No disposable plastic and limited to no packaging EXTREMELY cuts down on impulse buys of junk-food and processed food and over-shopping. Minimal packaging often means fresher, so if you buy too much, it will spoil.

Also, I stopped going to places for takeout unless I can use my own containers, so that means no fast food. You will be surprised how many restaurants love it when you bring in your own containers.

5. Move your butt

I have to be more active with my new lifestyle. I have replaced delivery with takeout using my own Tupperware. We carry our own containers to the bulk store (detergent, dry goods, …) which for us is a little farther a way. We have a bit more laundry due to using cloth diapers and cloth towels instead of paper towels. It is a great way to bake in some exercise.

6. Enjoy the thrill of the hunt… or not!

There are whole categories of items and businesses I have cut out of my field of options when I shop. The result is that it is easier to just pick something and go, less decision paralysis. Also luckily for everyone, in the past couple years there is a great ecosystem out there of vetted social/eco good companies to patronize, so you do have more options but not too many.

In some cases, since I am buying with a long term vision (example: one coat for 10+ years) it may prolong the search to find that perfect item. But, when I do find it and I know it will last me a long time the gratification is 10x more than what I used to experience with retail therapy. And sometimes I even find.. that I did not need it after all, so do not even purchase! Pst… for those who love changing out their wardrobes there is still the possibility of clothing-swap events. Free, fun and social!

7. Get Creative! Scratch that innovation and crafting itch.

I have moved from thinking products are what I need to focusing more on solutions. This means I take the time when a new need arises to reflect.

Is it a product I need or can I solve this need another way?

Or better yet, thanks to upcycling and crafting, Can I make it? For example, I thought I needed an expensive breast-feeding pumping bra but ended up just adapting an old-bra to make one. I just put holes in it… lol.

8. Freedom!

I will not act like becoming a conscious consumer completely frees you, as it introduces a whole new parameter and existential dread that is not always easy to navigate (Hello, The Good Place). But I simplified the task by also reducing my consumerism. So now there are whole consumer holiday seasons and fads I just do not care about any more. No pressure to save or deal hunt for. Also, due to minimalizing my house it takes less time to clean… less things to maintain… less responsibility… more space to move all around. *does apartment snow angels*

9. Free your relationships up

Making the shift towards requesting and giving no gifts and prioritizing just time together, has been a big relief. Instead of scouring for the PERFECT gift that the person may or may not even want… Honestly, even if they ask for it it just may gather dust… I am moving towards instead spending time with and treating the other person. Could be as simple as just a dinner out together. Win-Win: memories on all sides!

10. Open up to your community

I am bonding and finding new friends as we share our tips and mobilize for a better future. I also am getting to know my local restaurants and vendors. I feel even more connected and invested in my neighborhood. It is getting easier and easier to maintain this life-style thanks to our collective efforts.

Finally… Treat yourself!

Most importantly, being minimalist, a conscious consumer, or zero-waste does NOT mean “depriving” yourself. It means just shifting to realign with priorities that were probably there all along. In fact, it often means more resources to treat yourself with, just in a different way. Whether it be a night out at the theater or that jar of really delicious organic macadamia butter….. mmmmm…….. or some extra time-off even if unpaid.

In fact, DO NOT go cold turkey. Much like a diet, it will not stick if you are too tough right away. Ease into it! It takes time to adapt to a new lifestyle and to see the benefits. We need billions of people doing this semi-well and not thousands perfectly.

Here is a nice website to give you some ideas of first steps you can take.

Did I miss anything in my list? Let me know in a comment!

Biking On the Road is all the Rage

I didn’t have the best friday and I needed a diversion that wasn’t food or drink to bring me back to earth. I really have been striving to find balance in my life as far as my health, stress level & recreational time.

After talking to some friends I heard about the Cross Seminole Trail head being just down the road from us. I did some research online but found scant resources in my precursery search. The most informational being: this and this. I actually used a different map then the latter which I can no longer find.

Either way we hydrated, put on sun block and hit the trail.

First 4.5 miles were great. The trail was awesome and I was mad at myself for not doing this more. In Pittsburgh, as a child, I used to ride ALL the time.

Uhohs

Then we hit the end of the trail. Uhoh. This was supposed to go for 20 miles, of which we planned only to do 10. All the informative end of trail sign said was “Use side walk”. Which does not sound like good advice anyway since there was a bike lane on the road… I guess for families that is good.

So as a conscious effort to follow the rules of the law we rode in the bike lane. And rode. And rode. No trail reentry.

Finally we decided to cut our loses and ride back home by making a loop past UCF. Which meant riding on University Blvd. A road with no bike lane. And as we found out a lot of ignorant drivers despite being near to a major University which should have lots of student bicycle traffic. No wonder students are afraid to ride there.

We work off of University Blvd. and have been anxious to get some practice riding in the road on it, as we are by law supposed to. Plus, riding in the the road forces the cars to notice you rather then the side walk where distracted drivers have been known to turn and hit bikers. This being a Saturday with no traffic we felt it would be optimum practice.

First of all I know riding in the road is the best. But it did not feel safe. Despite no traffic angry drivers constantly cut it close, honked, yelled & pointed at the sidewalk. Yes. We get it. We are not blind. We see the sidewalk. One car got really close to Austin. We rode taking up the right lane as to ensure that drivers would not try to cut it close. But they did. In the 4 mile stretch we had at least 2 close encounters and 7 angry honks. One from a mail man! Slowest vehicle on the road…

Why does the right thing feel wrong? Other people.

I have mixed feelings about this experience.

I already know biking to work is hard for me as much as I want to do it as I only live 5 miles away. 1. I’m not good at getting up early, as biking doesn’t take long but getting there with time to shower is hard. 2. University Blvd is just not bike friendly and its just a damn shame. On all the roads there were bike lanes it was awesome and I felt fine but University Blvd was hell.

I feel like a chicken but though I plan on biking more I may just always ensure I take a trail or a road with bike lanes. With some research I figured out that google maps has a bike trail view (bike button at the top of the directions) and I saw that we were supposed to veer onto a certain road to catch the trail again… Thanks for the signs, County.

I feel riding in the road was correct. By law and as I vehicle I had every right. But with the angriness and the close calls it was just not a relaxing experience.

Austin and I will be taking a road biking course hopefully soon so perhaps that will change my mind. I just wish I had the time to lobby for… or for the government to… put more money into bike commuting, bike lanes and educating the public about sharing lanes with bikers. I feel UCF also is missing out but not pushing for a more bike friendly campus/locale.

I’m proud of myself though! I almost gave up as one point but I kept on going and ended up biking 18.6 miles! Pretty darn good I do think so… 🙂

Our Path: http://tinyurl.com/2dyjgzf

I guess my message is take bike lanes/trails as much as possible. But do your research as far as your options. And go out of your way to find safe roads if you do not live in a bike friendly area.

But if you are stuck on a road with no lane. Own that lane with no apologies. No matter how much they honk. It’s safe and you have every right.

Honk – S

First Post… BEES!

So finally put this blog on my own namespace. New title: Learning Machine. Because I am… a Learning Machine (think Iron Man).

Still have to make my own theme. I have an idea. Might take me 2 years to find the time to implement it… Personal projects are usually the last to be implemented/finished.

But mark my word it will be glorious when I do.

So to mark this moving how about a post?

Bee-Me-Geden

This weekend I went down to South FL to visit my parents. Turns out they had their own smoke monster a brewing… honey.

Smoke Monster

Seems since 2005, the year of hurricane Wilma, my dad has not used his grill. Partially due to lack of opportunity and partially due to the hive of bees that took residence in the grill that was secured a tree (hurricane proof and great for bees!). My dad being a fairly nonviolent person despite the muscles and martial arts training left the bees alone. Or at least he did until last week when they didn’t like him mowing the lawn… they didn’t like it one bit. As evidence by his swollen bitten face.

So my father launched several attacks upon the bees: spraying poison, trying to lodge drum sticks in the hive & running at first site of swarm. Even got my brother in on the action at 1am last night. But the freight train mega-hive was pretty smart about protecting their Queen so stayed strong.

Enter Mr. Craigslist

So Bees can suck but they also are slowly dying. Which as someone, who relies on her daily transfusion of honey to make her allergies at least placebo effect better and a general lover for the natural world, makes me sad. I swear, everyday a tablespoon of raw honey, lemon and cinnamon… makes me feel super strong. I started taking it a month or so ago and immediately felt better though I expected it to effect me next spring. *shrugs*

My friend Natalie’s family owns K&D’s Honey Bees and she had mentioned to me that people sometimes call them to humanely remove honey hives. She gets the sweet sweet honey, bees relocated, people bee-less. Everyone wins!

So 2 hours south and sympathetic to the bees I turned to craigslist. My mother had called the county and some local honey harvesters to only get no response. I hoped the Internetz could help us.

The first question is Under what category do you post giving away an angry swarm of bees? I decided “free stuff” and “wanted” (i.e. I want you to take my free bees). You have to be careful about posting the same post in two categories as its against the rules so I used my genius to reword a three line advert basically saying “HELP! We love bees. Relocate our grill full-o-bees!”.

The next morning we had three responses! Two offering the service and one hoping for me to clue them into who they can call to give away their own angry swarm.

Save Bees: Smoke Them Out

Some very nice people came, got the bees drunk off of smoke and then loaded up their truck with 50 lbs of honey, a bucket full of wax and many other buckets of confused bees. Sadly the honey will just be thrown away due to my dad’s first attack of poison. But the wax is good. The bees saved. And the internet has saved the day. Really there are going to be some sad lost bees on bee milk cartons and not all of the hive can be taken together. A sad swarm will still hover over the spot for the next 3 days. Until, according to the beekeeper, other bees from all over the place come pick apart the useless remenents of the hive and they all fly off together humming happy songs.

Moral of the Story

If you have bees on your property. Resist poisoning them. They are slowly becoming endangered and their sweet excrement is awesome. Call your local honey harvesters. And if that fails just post on craigslist. If we can have three responses quickly in Port St. Lucie… I’m sure you will have no problem. It’s free. Humane. And I’m sure you could ask for a jar of honey (if you haven’t poisoned the crop).

BEADS! – S

Ikea – How Swedish Simplicity Might Simplify Your Wedding

So just a quick(ish) entry about a place you should check out if you planning a wedding. Especially if you are planning on building your own centerpieces. So if you have one near you, try Ikea.

I know Ikea is not a new phenomenon but you might not look there first to “furnish” your wedding. I actually got this idea a while ago from Ruffled. After visiting the store I realized how many other potential wedding applications there were. Too bad I already decided on my centerpieces!

Pros

Maybe not sturdy but cheap. And for one night of use that’s fine.
You can peruse their selection online and search to see if your local Ikea has that item. Perhaps even hundreds of them… You most likely won’t have to worry about not having enough if you find what you want in the store nearby. They have bins I tells ya! Bins!
Simple in style so you could always go crazy and still “customize” it/stencil it. Also often the selection comes in the latest “hip” colors.
Many of these purchases you could just use in your house afterwards!

Cons

Navigating the store. It’s best to just following the long long long winding path until you get to your “section”. Do not freak out there will be an end to the path and if you haven’t noticed related items and have been walking for a while, its okay, just keep on walking. Nina had to tell me to do this several times… its overwhelming.
Might not have one near you. Can’t order online for many of the items but you can call in and order. If you call in though they charge a pretty hefty phone order fee ($20!) and expensive shipping.

A Smattering of Ideas

Here are a few options I found:

I actually bought this $.99 option for my table menus. Double sided, cheap and simple. Holds a 4″x6″ and has Plexiglas to protect the photo or menu.

$.99 cent easel that holds a 4″x6″ picture frame (you can get a pack of three for $1.99) or perhaps your menu on card stock? My friend is using these for her Van Gogh inspired wedding.

Reception seats a bit stiff? Rather then decorate with sashes and a back cover, what about a utilitarian but summery cushion? At $2.99 it’s pretty affordable! You could then encourage people to take them home with them. Or have a cushion room in your future love nest… for frolicking like Scrouge Mc Duck.

Same idea as above but white and only $1.49. This could easily be dyed or stenciled with your logo.

Okay, this is straight up awesome for your own house… A pack of 10 honeycomb interlocking mirrors for $14.99 or $1.50ish each. But imagine keeping them separate or only bunching a few together and using them as mirrors underneath your centerpieces. Ah Haaa….

This is a little more expensive but for $9.99 you can buy this seven picture movie themed picture frame. It hangs and could either “frame” your bridal table or hang over each of your guests tables with pictures of you guys. Especially great for a movie/hollywood/picture themed wedding.

Science themed? Spice it up some flowers you could get at the local farmers market and colored water for your centerpieces. Or fill several with jelly beans (once color per carafe). $7.99.

$2.99 – Fill it with sand and put it on its side, fill it with candy, put tiny flowers inside. Swig beer in it. Send a message of love to commemorate the day to a far off land after saying your vows on the beach (or a pirate ship).

$24.99 including pot. $14.99 without. And you could instead go for a cheaper pot option. Like this. Or this. Sure these plants look like butts! But they are unique… and you could have a whole butt army of them after the wedding. Plus its green to buy reusable flowers/plants. I’m not sure if all Ikeas have these but they had them in Orlando.

For $6.99 a cheaper option and less buttish.

Simplistic and pretty unique! Only $1.99! Put punch in here or an orchid. Ikea sells orchids for $12.99. Perfect for an outside/classic white wedding.

Interlocking vases for $1.99 each. Not sure if it comes in a three pack for that… if not then its $6 for the set. Still affordable and pretty. Get six and they form a nifty circle. Or if you and your hubby have curvy initials (C, S, J…) you could spell them out in vases. Fill it with candy or flowers or sand. Comes in pink shades! I could probably show a million cute vases by Ikea… but I instead encourage you to look around their site.

Colored sand/rocks for $1.99. I suspect you can do this cheaper, if not with white sand and dye. But if you aren’t so DIY this means in one trip you could get the vase, sand and candles all in one fell swoop.

Alternatives

No Ikea near you? These options can be awesome… Just go to their home decor section. Probably won’t be as “one stop shop”ish though.

T.J. Maxx – got me some awesome beachy reeds here on the cheap.
Bed, Bath & Beyond – They always have coupons and they always honor them even if they are expired.
Bealls – Florida only.
Goodwill – Help out a charity and if you are lucky find a good selection. This takes more scrounging but especially if you are looking for a mismatched bohemian style this might be the perfect option for you.
Target – I’ll refrain from suggesting Walmart as well… But there are some fun cheap options at both of these places.

So happy shopping!

Breathe Deep Seek Deals – S

P.S. While you are at it buy a box to organize/hold your wedding DIY stuff. Stress Level–. Get a set of two and use it as well to separate what you need for the ceremony and what you need for the reception.

Our Wedding Part I

So the masses want to know how far I’ve gotten in my wedding planning. So let me introduce our special day… so far. I’m doing this in a brief list summary of our steps in chronological order with some insight inserted.

So Austin asked me to marry him on July 2nd, 2009 (you can read about it here) and we set about wedding planning…

We let everyone know! And picked our wedding party.
The date: 10.10.10. Why?
Location: This was our primary concern since this is a popular date, and securing a location would secure the date. I’ll be honest we kinda went into it blind and probably could have saved money if we a) did it in our family’s hometown (Port St. Lucie) or b) done some research. We ended up just driving over to St. Petersburg two hours away, a location we have sentimental attachment to, going to a few places my mom found and choosing! We couldn’t make a decision between our two favorites so we chose both! Still they are affordable and fun, so no regrets here. Really Austin and I aren’t super outdoorsy but we wanted to design a wedding that would be very “Florida” since many of our guests will be out of towners taking their vacation. Austin and I would elope in a second our real goal is to have an intimate, fun and awesome excuse for everyone to get together and party.
- Rehearsal dinner at Ceviche – The small restaurant chain which is our absolute favorite and where we celebrated our engagement. This will be photo themed and we already are picking out some oldies but goodies from our albums. As per tradition we are keeping this to family and bridal party.
- Ceremony at Sunken Gardens -A hidden gem in St. Petersburg we will be exchanging vows under a 200 year old oak canopy. Below is my mama & Austin in the pavilion.
- Bus them all over to Honey Moon Island – The beach is ours after sunset as we party in an open air pavilion!
  We are keeping decorations to a minimum, because why do we need it when we have the beach/jungle as our decoration? Also less stress and stuff to throw away afterwards… Luckily the reception location has a set tasty caterer which includes everything.. makes it simple. Also, shortly after our location trip we secured a block of rooms at a nearby hotel, VERY important for a destination wedding.
Budget: We kind of started this before location shopping (and really should have finalized it before) but we definitely finalized it before signing the contracts! Just wanted to insert this to show how important it is although it may be awkward to sit down with your family discuss it. See what they can contribute and ensure no matter what you can cover it!
Guest List: This was very very hard, in fact the hardest part for me so far in the process. I know a lot of people and want them there, but with us trying not blow our whole nest egg we decided to limit the event to close family and bridal party. Besides it will be more intimate and HOPEFULLY I can spend time with each guest. A few others slipped in, but I had to be as assertive as possible with ourselves and our family. LUCKILY Sunken Gardens’ Oak Pavilion can only accommodate 75, so that helps keep us on track. Before the wedding we are hoping to have a sendoff dance/party with the rest of our buds.
Color Scheme: I first started with a pink and brown scheme but then switched over to a tropical peacock theme shortly after selecting our location. Brown in a jungle would be bad… I used Kuler by Adobe to create the color palette. I am a BIG proponent of getting this decided a.s.a.p. and just sticking with it (not that I’m great about staying on theme…), so that you can move forward with designing your wedding. Kuler makes it easy and it’s free!

Austin and I are peacock colors. Although I’ve never met a peacock I liked… but it’s pretty and tropical! Tee hee!

Bridal Party Color Scheme: Each of the ladies will be a different Florida Flower!
Now we had a theme I designed us a logo. Branding is important to me… its the one piece of glue keeping this A.D.H.D. wedding together!

Website – http://wedding.austinandsheila.com created! Very important for getting the information out quickly to all those needing to know information, especially if they are traveling far. We asked people to early r.s.v.p. and that’s been SEMI successful… not really. Hopefully they’ll be better when they get the invitation.
Brides Maid’s Dresses – Coordinating via email we picked these out and ordered them. I’ll leave them as a surprise. I’m glad we did it so quickly because if you are going with traditional bridesmaids dresses IT TAKES SOOOO LONG for them to come in. We ordered them in January and they won’t be in until May… All my bridesmaids are out of state, in fact two are over seas! Thank god for gmail/googledocs and the internet.
Save-the-Dates – We had soooo many different ideas on how to announce our date. We ended up throwing in another facet to our tropical wedding, a tourist/destination feel. So I came up with these magnets (ordered from vistaprint.com) that we attached postcard backs to:

I sent this to my maid of honor with no envelope to test if sending a big magnet in the mail as a postcard would work (sorry hard drives it came into contact with). But it showed up a little torn. So we ended up keeping the postcard back but mailing it in an envelope. Bummer but let me sleep at night.
Engagement Photos – An engagement photo shoot is super fun and if your photographer offers it, go for it! Awesome to document this wonderful time of your life, as well as, great content to use in your invitations or website if you design them. Austin luckily is a big ham so we had a lot of fun, despite the cold, as our good friend and photographer Hilary Mercer took us on an all day shoot. Check out the results. Austin and I really only planned the first location (Lake Claire) and the two sets of outfits. From there we just roamed the city!
Bride’s Attire: I did not want to spend a lot on a dress that I would never wear again and knowing my eccentric tastes neither would any daughter, that I may spawn, want to wear it either. I anticipate a “trash the dress” shoot… I found my best option was prom dresses! MANY of the dresses could be ordered in white, still very princessy, LIGHT & cheaper. When I tried on traditional gowns I felt heavy and hot. Plus, what else is a wedding but your dream prom that you spend a lot of money on? One where you most certainly are prom queen and king? I’m going to keep my dress a secret but it is most awesome. I saw it online, hunted it down, tried it on & fell in love. As for the veil that is being pieced together because I’m crafty, with the help of some accents I bought from etsy.com.
Honey Moon/Registry: With little else to turn my attention to as most is planned or must wait until closer to the date, I started attacking our honey moon. Austin and I have it mostly set and at least purchased our initial tickets to Madrid. We have decided instead of asking for traditional home goods, we would like our guests to purchase us portions of our rockin’ honeymoon. We have been living together for four years so home goods… we got. But a rockin’ honeymoon? That’s new. Here’s a sneak peak at our registry set up through honeyfund.com. Our itinerary is ALMOST set, we might simplify it, but otherwise we are super excited. I’m sure I will in the future post a long diatribe about the dos and don’ts of planning this kind of trip.
Cake Topper: Put down our deposit on one by Sophia’s Workshop on Etsy.com. She did one for a friend of mine and I can’t WAIT to start the design process. Check her out but keep in mind she has a waiting list.
Rings: This we just finished yesterday! Austin bought me a very unique engagement ring that requires a customized interlocking band to not look all goofy. Horrible resolution picture of initial ring:
Sketch of new ring! Notice how they wrap together? That’s the original diamond in the center.

We decided to follow a Victorian tradition I read about in some book (really authoritative huh?) of using the stones to spell out a message/word. Mine will have either aquamarine tear drop stones standing for Austin, or if I can figure out a good blue “F” stone, an aquamarine, the diamond from my engagement ring and then the “F” stone making Austin David Flores. Suggestions? Austin’s ring will have two sapphires laid out mimicking my ring, standing for Sheila Suarez. I don’t have a picture of his ring (oops) but its a thinner lighter (good for dancing) matte white gold band with polished cut edge.

So… that’s basically it! Many are surprised at either the geekiness/nonswing orientatedness of our wedding (including myself on the latter) but it’s all about family and joy and I like it damn it. Plus very few of our guests swing dance. :/ Though they will in fact cut a rug. Any way we shall not be pigeonholed, we are a many faceted duo!

We are in the process now of finalizing Austin and his groom’s outfits, creating the overall structure of our ceremony which will be administered by my maid of honor, then on to program designing, invitation designing, losing weight, flowers, center pieces, dj set list (we are just running a MP3 player), favors & finally some tastings! Maybe I do have quite a bit to do in the next 6 months…

Now you know. – S

TRY THAT MILK and Other Pre-Wedding Tips

This is the first in a series of “what I learned so far” wedding posts. Honestly only now with the wedding planning at a semi-lull (at that awkward not a lot to do until closer to the wedding stage) have I had the time to reflect on what I’ve learned! As well as, trying to help my maid of honor who is recently engaged plan her wedding in 7 months, helps rehash the memories. O. The horror.

So You Are Engaged?:

This may not work for everyone but I suggest to begin putting yourself into a “fake marriage” if you haven’t already. What does this mean?

Plan the Wedding Together: Or as much as possible! And when I mean planning, I mean not just the woman stereotypically ordering the man around, but both making all decisions together. Throughout the rest of your life you’ll be planning (hopefully) together, so start now. Planning a wedding can be an ordeal and is a BIG learning experience. Heck, for most people its the first and only 100-200 person two day event they’ll ever plan! Wedding planning can bring to surface a lot of family, personal and otherwise ticks. You’ll want to do this together and use it as a bonding experience and not just a hassle. Sure, if the woman relinquishes some of the control she might get a WOW cake BUT not only will she be less stressed (if you guys work well together) but he’ll feel he owns the day as well. It also means learning each others strengths. Maybe one is a better designer, they’ll take more of a lead there, but in the end both need to be happy and in agreement.
Move In: If you haven’t already moved in together. It doesn’t ruin the magic in fact it doubles it! Austin and I moved in together after a year… which may have been quick but we never regretted it. Comes down to this, it is the TRUE test of if you guys can work as a team and cohabitate. When you get married the least amount of surprises the better. What about this doubling the fun? Here’s my road plan for those with trepidations about ruining the magic.
1. Imagine moving in together in your first apartment, you’re saving money, learning about each other & giggling every night because you are having a sleepover with your bestbud. Better yet move into a place with roommates and each have your own room. Sleep in the same room but still have your haven (this is probably good after marriage as well). Roommates are good because they help you save money (we are planning a wedding after all) and they are a bit of social fun that doesn’t make you feel SO all alone with one person and that nothing will ever change before it even started to change.
2. Now a year later you get married and move into a new house/apt! Better yet, no roommates! You will be sick of them by now. This has all the newness you need plus you are prepared with “living with your hubby” skills. You still need all that fun stuff from your registry and you feel more married with just the two of you!
Start Merging Assets: There is no better test to see what you are getting yourself into then to see how your partner manages money and the responsibility of dispersing it to bill collectors. We weren’t sure how to go about it so I asked for advice from friends/family and finally decided to have one joint bank account and two personal ones. 90% of our paychecks go into our joint account and 10% go into our own personal accounts. I can’t even see his personal account and that is OKAY! This way we don’t feel guilty or have to explain to each other (and our budget) when splurging on ourselves, as well we can surprise each other with gifts!
Now Make Budget: Aside from the wedding budget which anyone could tell you should be your FIRST action when starting to plan (more on this later), you need a life budget! Austin and I use Mint.com and a spreadsheet that we share through Google Docs to keep us on track. Not only do we have a regular budget but a savings budget. This savings budget shows over the year how much we are saving and any big expenditures we are going to pay out from savings (vacations, loan lump-sums, foreseen medical expenses, etc). Budgets aren’t perfect so after we pay rent each month, Austin and I try to sit down & categorize our expenditures in Mint and tweak our budget if need be (or our drinking habits).

This post basically espouses knowing what you are getting yourself into it. Trying the milk first is not bad because when you buy the cow there’s a whole buncha new stuff and places to go with said cow. Playing house! So that when you do get married its not like getting dumped into a desert island with you and that person on the marriage license.

What now?

Next wedding themed post shall be about the nitty gritty start of wedding planning and some money saving tips I’ve realized a long the way.

nitty & gritty -S

Get Active in Your Community (and don't pass out)

So tonight I ran my first 5k! I never thought it would be my bag and I still don’t think it is but I’m glad I did it and I may do it again. So I guess it’s my minibag, a satchel per say.

Some Background:

So you guys know I’m getting married in 6 months. Haven’t been so successful in losing the “new job 20”. Kitzzy & Jason my awesome coworkers at Online@UCF/CDL/UCF (where I work) decided to put together a group for the Orlando Corporate 5k, the biggest sporting event in Orlando with 12k people! Really its a stroke of genius because coworkers feel the pressure to bond/participate, its short enough to walk, office workers always need exercise and this is a gateway activity. So CDL set up a team and a blog and though my knee and extra bone in my foot makes it hard to run I felt this was a perfect opportunity to jump start my routine.
Online@UCF Learning to Live Well

Didn’t work that well. But I tried. Allergies/sickness and lethargy kept me to only training 2-3 weeks for it. But the beauty is, with a 5k you can always walk!

Why I’d Do It Again

Not sure I’d TRAIN heavily for a 5k again (due to knee/footness I’m sticking to biking) but I’d do one again. Especially if I move to a new city. Because:

You get to see the city. Roads blocked off, bands playing (mariachi!), running in mass, its a pretty awesome sight.
You get to meet people. Like 12k of them… all in mass. Running. Humanity running, often in funny outfits.
Entertaining t-shirts: Everything on them from godzilla killing a city to threats of being superior to commands to “eat your dust” to ascertains of their physical prowess over you. Okay, really there are just a lot of threatening t-shirts. In fact, I think our team was one of the few positive ones, with affirmations blaring on the back.
Feel accomplished: Run as much as possible, walk, then jog, do whatever. No matter what by the end you feel pretty good!
Community outreach: Not only can you reach over and touch your brother but many of these events are charities. And charity is good, as well as, brotherly love.
Pack Mentality… I mean Spirit! It’s just a good bonding experience where people are taken out of their element and must rely on each other for support. Not that I talked much, what with concentrating on breathing, but it was nice to have them there (nicer than I expected as I liked training in quiet). I’m not sure I’d want to do it without seeing the happy affirmations on the backs of my team member’s shirts… as I pass them… like Godzilla. ;p At least, you’ll know who you can outrun in the office, for when the zombies attack.

So I guess what I’m saying is, not sure I’d do more then a 5k but its a fun occasional community activity that should not be intimidating!

How’d I do?

Why thanks for asking. Did it in 36-37 minutes (not good at this number thing). I jogged/ran the whole way except for one minute. Pretty proud I must say. Austin pushed over some grandmas to make his time of 25.5 minutes. You see it is a race to him.

Possible pictures to possibly come.

run sheila run – S