My Essay “Molded” was published

A Moment that Molded Me

I’m excited to announce, my short essay “Molded” was included in MindSpark Research International‘s quarterly, Spark Sesh (Spring 2019). Enjoy some inspiration on how we are all connected despite our diversity.

The topic is Defining Moments. In my essay, I discuss several of mine, especially the failures.

No download necessary and free on SparkSesh.com (or this direct link)

Hello Parenting World: Pregnant? Have a newborn? Lean and Agile tips to save your sanity

It seems fitting and perhaps cliché that my first blog as I emerge from the great hibernation that is parental leave is about Lean and Agile parenting.
Ha! Irony! No sleep was part of it!

But it makes sense: I love Lean and Agile and I am now part of the parent cult. That makes two cults! Plus, what is a better test of these methods than some real life situations? Some would argue it is one of the most important life situations ever.

Zombies, but happy Zombies

My goal for this article is to share four methods to start you off, that I used as a new parent to not lose my mind [read as: to not completely lose my mind]. This is inspired by my professional experience of 10 years using the Agile and Lean mindset and methodologies and will hopefully help spare you some of the learning curve.

Quick Intro to Agile and Lean for the N00bs (or skip to next section)

It is not necessary to understand the A-Z of Agile nor Lean to implement them. In fact, that is more fitting with their spirit. But still an overview may help you.

Agile is a mindset and a methodology usually used in the production of software, where you iteratively build, test and adapt. There is a great emphasis on communication, autonomy and team empowerment. Here is the mother doctrine.

Lean, which is known for one of its most famous flavors, Lean Startup, is a methodology where proven business demand drives production. Simply put, we first provide an inexpensive carrot to see if the horse will even come before investing in the cart or the stable. Or, better yet, we make a fake carrot out of free trash laying around. Yum.

Thank you stock image contributors and your wackiness. #blessed Source Alexas Photos

Like Agile, Lean favors iteration, feedback and adjustment, which is called validated learning. But, there is even more emphasis on austere methods and cutting waste: limiting money spent, automation and scaling before proven viability.

Lesson 1: Your baby and the parent in you are the great unknown so put away the crystal ball

Agile and Lean are great for complex situations and that is why they were developed. What could be more complex than bringing a new being into the world? It is the equivalent of the longest and most important blind date.

Your baby could be chill, a crier or love sports, despite them being primarily constructed of pizza while you were pregnant. Babies and family situations come in all forms. Forget your baby being the unknown… especially, if this is your first rodeo, you as a parent are the great unknown.

So taking a page from the Lean handbook:

Wait til you see the ‘demand’ until you invest.

No, I am not talking about deciding to throw the baby out if you do not like it (along with the bath water). Keep the child, that is one good sunken cost.

You are next kid. Source Henley Design Studio

I suggest to buy the absolute minimum. Then wait and see what your baby’s personality is and how you emerge as a parent before investing in all that baby paraphernalia. Do no listen to those Facebook ads, even if they know all your personal desires.

Buy a couple test items or better yet, borrow them and then see how your baby reacts before you pull the purchase trigger. If it makes you feel better, you can bookmark items and keep them ready to buy once a proven need arises. Though be careful to not go overboard because what is hot now may not be a few months later. Hello, Nose Frida.

Learn from my mistake: Carried Away

We did pretty good at resisting filling the house pre-baby. I did though have four baby carriers… of all the types… for one baby.  As surely my child would love being worn!

“Mooooom… you are smothering me” O.G. Attachment Parenting Source SeoulInspired

Four carriers, for my daughter, who came out 55cm (21.6 inches or 100th percentile) after 58 hours of labor. My mom only ever did seven hours max, so I was not expecting it. My back was destroyed. On top of it, my daughter was born during a heatwave.

My baby hated baby wearing. We tried our hardest for three months. Three of our carriers have gone unused. We now primarily use a stroller. The end.

How to apply this lesson

Golden rule: The bigger the investment (money or space) the more time you should wait to purchase, and if possible, find other ways to test the need.

For example, renting cloth diapers from a local service before investing in any one brand.

I suggest you make a list of must-haves in the final two months or four months, if at risk of premature birth. Buy these items and then stop searching for more until the baby is born. I suggest to wait until last trimester as you may have some indicators of your baby’s size.

Plus, let’s be honest, if you live in a city, you can run down to your local store or order on the internet and get almost anything within hours. The cost to store, move around and potentially overbuy rarely validates the savings of prebuying.

Example list

First start with a goal. Setting a goal can keep yourself in check and edit your list. Because afterall, who watches the Watchman?

Example Goal: Baby warm, safe and can be laid down to sleep and transported. Mama can recuperate asap.

  • Five outfits in newborn size or one month size, depending on last sonogram
  • 10 outfits and 5 pajamas in 0-3 months size – This, in my case, came into use pretty quickly due to her unexpected size
  • A sleep solution. I chose a cosleeper.
  • Aftercare items for mama
  • If you decide to breastfeed: Breastfeeding bras, bra pads and a long pillow for breastfeeding. I used my maternity pillow so did not buy another. I also went naked the first week… so no bras necessary right away.
  • Two swaddles or blankets
  • One baby hat
  • Three pairs of socks that can also be put on hands as mittens
  • One baby carrier, stroller or way to transport baby
  • Car seat for those with cars, to get back from hospital at minimum. You may also rent a taxi with a car seat or rent a car seat.
  • Thermometer and infant fever/pain medicine in case of fever the first nights back home
  • Optional: One bag of disposable diapers newborn size and wipes

Afterwards you will get most of what you need from the hospital [Sorry home birthers] and for those with family nearby or a partner, they can run out and supplement once you understand the baby: Diaper size, does breastfeeding work for you or do you now need a bottle and formula for home, etc.

Or perhaps, you will find you need to purchase a pacifier as the baby is not quite so happy to be on dry land.

Lesson 2: Scale only after proven need, just start iterating

This is similar to the last point but warrants its own mention.

OK, great you know more about your child and your needs… NOW it is time to buy ALL the things. Right?

Nope, nice try Captain Capitalism.

What you get when you search capitalism in a stock image site. LOL Source Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke

I suggest you encourage the mindset of lean and minimalism by:

Only advance down the rabbit hole, as you see that your demand deepens.

For example: OK, you now see that breastfeeding works for you. Still, you should resist buying a wardrobe for the next year, including that snazzy breastfeeding friendly ballgown for your work Christmas party. Instead, buy some tops to get you through the next month of current weather.

Start with a hypothesis of your needs evolving every month, and check back in later to see.

  1. Does [fill in blank ex: breastfeeding] still serve us?
  2. Do we have any unmet needs?
  3. What could the solutions be? Are there any solutions that do not require purchasing?
  4. Decide and Implement
  5. Repeat Cycle

For example, due to health issues I was not able to breastfeed longer than 5.5 months. Good thing I did not invest in a portable pump for work! Nor that ballgown… #postpartumWeight

Lesson 3: Data is queen: Create a measurable feedback loop

Trust me you will most likely have only two neurons to rub together after the birth.

So grab one of the many free apps and start tracking a couple things. Or use a notebook, but I found an app was good to synchronize easily with my husband. I used Baby Daybook. I started with a core set of categories, but then slowly started dropping those that no longer were needed. Accruing and maintaining information for no reason is not good either.

For example, when my daughter was newborn, we tracked:

  • Feeding amounts and times
  • Medication given to her or me and timing
  • Diapers: timing, quantity and poop/pee/both

Then four months later my app looked like:

  • Feeding amounts and times
  • Pumping amounts and times
  • Nap times and lengths

As time passed, my daughter’s digestion ability developed and her health stayed good so we were able to drop tracking medication and diapers. On the other hand, my milk supply was low, so I had to start tracking pumping. In addition, we started getting her on a schedule so sleep was key to track.

Now since she was seven months old, we track only her monthly measurements as now we are in the groove.

Note: There is a saying that: When the data is actually useful you often do not have it. So, you must project and starting accruing for “Future You”’s needs. That being said, luckily and unluckily for you, your baby will have very short cycles of change, so no worries, if you did not track exactly everything you need from the start.

See a need? Gather 2-3 days of data and you can usually make a pretty good hypothesis to advance.

Lesson Four: One hypothesis at a time

It will not always be possible to boil your mysterious bundle of joy into a scientific hypothesis. No matter how hard you try!

Sorry for the disturbing mental image of baby stew. Seriously, if not for your own sanity, I suggest to only change one thing at a time and wait a cycle before adapting.

In addition, I suggest if you co-parent to be on the same page as your partner on what you are testing/changing and why. This includes other caretakers.

“Oh, sorry honey I thought you meant I needed to eat the child not give her more to eat. Silly me.”

Yum, baby stew.

Enjoy the ride (it is a flume down a very high waterfall into river of tears… and rainbows!)

I have more to share but will leave it at that for now. Parenthood can be an extremely complex, emotional and primal experience. The more you can approach it in an methodological Lean and Agile way, yet stay open-minded, the better. This could save you some tears, energy and money. But there will still be tears, trust me.

Perhaps you can use that to measure your progress? +1 for less tears?

Pretty much sums up parenthood. Source Tatyana Kazakova

Until next time, drop me a comment if you enjoyed or hated this article. Please share with me your own learnings and experiments as a parent.

Now where were we? – Paris Life – Season 4?

[Insert another Blog start opening blurb]

Introducing my newly branded (rough-draft) and moved expat blog (albeit in potentially perpetual beta mode). Really only the logo design is done. ;p

oooo look at that logo
Translation: American Flowers in Paris

First you must know that the Learning Machine, still exists but will be solely be professional or nontravel/expat ramblings. While this new little niche shall be my hide out for all the things I find fit to share in my growth as an American abroad in Paris.

While I have not been writing here for months now… I have been digesting and figuring out life in Paris.  It has been a labor of love which I am becoming ready to share.  So we will see how these little writings will make their debut to the world and how often.  But we might as well get started.

Carpé journée.

Life Update

Now where were we? Season 3, looking back at the archive.  I have now been amid what I would consider Season 4 for quite a while.

Austin is in a new job.  We have moved at least two times since last time I wrote, now living in upper 11th of Paris or lower Belleville neighborhood.  We were able to take our first real vacations in years, traveling to the Mediterranean and Sweden.

Stockholm was pretty - August 2013
Stockholm was pretty – August 2013

I took a professional pause to work on my French and some personal projects (including a non-profit dance exchange in Paris which welcomed over 200 dancers from around the world). And now I am back on the “find a job I can be passionate about (preferably in French)” train. Going well despite I decided to board this train in the summer time a.k.a. unemployed deadman’s land.

Still I am optimistic and have been talking with a couple exciting companies that hopefully I will get to announce in the coming months once the living return to Paris.

Overall life as an expat (especially in the last month) has semi-smoothed out, especially due to my gained proficiency in French, seeking stability and simplifying my commitments.

And of course we love Paris more than ever.

Napoleon graffiti agrees (spotted in Paris)
Napoleon graffiti agrees (spotted in Paris)

Though we have not had electricity for the past week and a half… but that is a post for another time.

After School Special

What have I learned so far this Season? Let’s make this semi-educational.

EXPAT LIFE LESSON #121: Hey man, you are already an expat… do not take on the rest of the world as well.

Not a fancy picture but a genuine one. Taken when we decided one night to take a break, picnic on the Seine overlooking the Eiffel Tower, and take a moment to appreciate what we have and why we work so hard to keep it.
Not a fancy picture but a genuine one. Taken when we decided one night to take a break, picnic on the Seine overlooking the Eiffel Tower, and take a moment to appreciate what we have and why we work so hard to keep it.

Simplify, delve into your new life and concentrate on some (read: not all) positive and productive activities!

Because this is not your past life, you have a new obligatory hobby: Figuring out a new culture, language and way of life.

Until the next post – S

 

 

Ode to My Husband – Love Nest Abroad and Some Fish

Love Expats Style

Some might say that moving aboard can be the worse thing you can do for your relationship.  Or really any major move or life change is tough in a four-legged race… let’s be fair.

For me it has been the best thing I could have done.  As I now appreciate my husband more than I could ever express in a silly little blog rambling.  I am learning to trust in him, see him for the man he is and not take him for granted, not even for one second.

I am so ever grateful that I made this move with Austin.  He is my constant (Lost style ;p).  Life abroad is not all travel, cheese and ease.  I have my down moments of self doubt where I cannot tell the paperwork from the oak trees.  But he always seems to find me no matter how low I get.

301795_10150908522578286_923767118_n
Harry and Sally Meets Good Wine

We had worked together before but moving to a 27 square meter apartment, working at the same long hour jobs (two now), teaching dance together (in french) and relearning to how to live (french style) definitely has been a challenge.

294734_10100565175605402_6778280_n
Our first real apartment in Paris.

I have now reached the point where I see my fellow expats leave, those that came around the time we came (my “expat class” as I call it).  It is sad though we all have our reasons.  Some came planning only to stay a couple months.  Some have found better opportunities. Some just do not like it. And Paris is definitely not a city to stick with if it is not the right fit.  I am not too sure I would still be here if I did not have Austin. (And a few dozen friendly french strangers and friends a like).

Had to keep your head low in our little studio.
Had to keep your head low in our little studio.

We definitely have progressed greatly since our arrival in Paris, in our temporary 17 square meter apartment or when the machine ate my credit card on the first day.  We have progressed enough so that I can fondly look back at some of our earlier now-funny struggles.  I will not say we have stability now but we are gaining comfortability… and we have come a long way.

And I am glad this has been a partner marathon.

Thanks

Austin and I moved to France 6 months into our marriage and 5.5 years into our relationship.  For those who know our wedding date (the binary for 42), you know we love Douglas Adams and our wedding abounded in references to Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

74210_957658093350_6500828_n
Shot near Notre Dame from our honeymoon visit to Paris. Where we continued to fall in love with each other and this city.

Today I stumbled upon a reading that I had to share and my relation to it.  It is a mix between how I felt: the first time we kissed, at our wedding and during our first year in Paris (in the apartment where you could barely swing a cat).

Enjoy and Thanks Austin.

From Douglas Adams’ “So Long and Thanks for All the Fish”

There was a sort of gallery structure in the roof space which held a bed and also a bathroom which, Fenchurch explained, you could actually swing a cat in, “But,” she added, “only if it was a reasonably patient cat and didn’t mind a few nasty cracks about the head. So. Here you are.”

“Yes.”

They looked at each other for a moment.

The moment became a longer moment, and suddenly it was a very long moment, so long one could hardly tell where all the time was coming from.

For Arthur, who could usually contrive to feel self-conscious if left alone long enough with a Swiss cheese plant, the moment was one of sustained revelation. He felt on the sudden like a cramped and zoo-born animal who wakes one morning to find the door of his cage hanging quietly open and the savanna stretching gray and pink to the distant rising sun, while all around new sounds are waking.

He wondered what the new sounds were as he gazed at her openly wondering face and her eyes that smiled with a shared surprise.

He hadn’t realized that life speaks with a voice to you, a voice that brings you answers to the questions you continually ask of it, had never consciously detected it or recognized its tones until it now said something it had never said to him before, which was,

“yes.”

– S

And Meow For Something Completely Different

First Watch This

Done?  Okay good… Now read this.

Bask in the glory that is a video of a cat meowing the theme of a popular tv about dragons and stuff.

Now bask in the fact that you have this opportunity at all… the internet (for those lucky enough to enjoy it) is the pinnacle of luxery and awesomeness.  And basically free vs the amount we pay and what we gain from it (though some would argue hours of funny animal videos on demand has no intrinsic value).

Still we do important stuff on there as well… like further technology, humankind and stuff.

It is an invisible omnipresent “box” of awesome.

What would Maud think?

I sometimes wonder what a person from the middle ages would think about the internet… Let alone just as far back as my late grandfather Dido.

“You mean you spend hours on a magical box which has the power to calculate the meaning of life ? But is used mostly for living pictures of cats meowing songs from another magical box called a TV (and naked pictures)?  

Now excuse me, I need to go survive the bubonic plague…”

What will I think?

What further farcical inventions will our children invent? Can’t wait…

I took the liberty of illustrating the future for you… You are welcome. Introducing “Meow-wavesTM”

“You mean a tentacle that you suck onto your left elbow which transfers smells to your shoulder (how we will smell in the future) so that you may fully enjoy the gelatinous laser cats puppetshow (and naked pictures)?

Now excuse me, I need to go survive the NEObubonic plague…”

Excellent – S

P.S.

Also required/related watching (unless you hate swearing or are at work). Love Louis CK.

[REVIEW] Cosmopolis – Digested and Respected

And now a review of Cosmopolis because a status on my Facebook was not enough…

I have been watching a lot of movies lately thanks to my handy dandy UGC card. And afterwards I have been reviewing them very briefly on my facebook wall (I am lame). I tried that with David Cronenberg’s Cosmopolis… but it was just too difficult. So much to say… It’s that kind of movie.

I honestly am not very well versed in David Cronenberg’s style/movies as I am pretty sure this is the first one I have seen. So this perhaps will be a useful to other Cronenberg philistines like me.

Enough of that… Quick! Plot Synopsis! Go!

Eric Parker (Robert Pattinson) is a young billionaire tech/financial/genius guy. It’s not a very good day for him as his life spirals out of control.

The movie is artfully and of course purposefully, based primarily in Parker’s limo.  He is among but withdrawn from the people, sealed off with cork so that he does not hear the outside world… much. Parker meets with the people in his life as he slowly is driven to go get a hair cut.

Also, it is a commentary on Capitalism.

Weird huh?  It is.

See it!  Or not…

Cosmopolis is a mind meld or a mind “f***” to be crude about it. As I am told it is typical Cronenberg style, as the king of venereal horror (fancy talk for body/mind horror).

Cosmopolis is not a normal “enjoyable” movie, though you may find it enjoyable.  The trailer will trick the masses into seeing it (as it makes it out to be some cool action/NINesque music video flick) but the masses will not enjoy it.

Even in France, a nation known for dry drawn out movies and polite patient audiences, there was a mass exodus in 15 minute intervals. At least 10% of the people left.

But even if you do not enjoy it… I argue you should respect it.  It is an exercise of the mind. Something not so enjoyable for those who went to the movies for escape (after all we have plays and books for thinking!)

In fact, it feels very much like an esoteric play, especially given the style of acting which is wooden like a poorly rehearsed play.  But I can only assume Cronenberg wanted this from his actors.

Very dry. Very disconnected. At first very alientating… but in the end perfect for the reality of the film.  Because that is what it is… disconnected “slice” (I cringe to say that cliché) of realities on either ends of the economic scale.

How to enjoy this film

You will hate this movie until you accept its weirdness.  Like the main character Parker, you must observe the passing world.

And afterwards you may find yourself needing to “digest” the film. Austin and I walked home instead of biked just so we could discuss it.

Digest it, think about it afterwards, bring a friend so you may discuss it later: but during it, just hang on to each word and observe.

The acting… did Pattinson sparkle?

Robert Pattinson… was really good in it, or maybe the “plasticness” of the acting style necessary for this movie fit his style of acting. Actually though it made me want to check out his following flicks.

I must say I found myself impressed with his bed eye acting style (well really… perhaps “romanced by it” is a better turn of phrase).  I understand why the girls swoon.  He has sexual magnetism even when getting an anal check up (pretty good scene actually!) or hugging a big burly black man.

On other actors not named Pattison

Some really grade A acting overall: intense and funny at parts.

You get to know the characters in passing… there is little to no explaination and you may fall behind if you do not pay attention to the nuances of each line… it really is a quite unforgiving film.

You may not even realize who the characters are until well after they are off screen.

But still the characters, each basically in their own strange vignette as they come into contact with the main character, are interesting and on the whole very well acted.

I especially enjoyed Paul Giamatti‘s (though usually he is not my style) and Samantha Morton‘s performances.

[ELITISM ALERT] And another thing…

After reading some reviews… this is going to sound really bad. But if you think this movie is poorly constructed, its probably because you didn’t understand it… And this probably threatened you.

You don’t have to love or even enjoy this movie but you should respect it.

So in the end?

I have convinced myself the more I think about it… I really enjoyed the mental exercise that is Cosmopolis.

I dare you to try it – S

The Unconventional Naturally “Spicy” Salad

My need for lightness + veggies + balsamic vinegar + SPICE (PUT SPICE IN ALL THINGS!) lead to….

 

Spicey Salad of the Gods
Unconventional Naturally Spicy Salad of Wonder!


This salad was invented by my husband and actually only has one conventionally “spicy” thing in it (can you spot it?).  The rest are veggies that just naturally have that zing.  Not only is this salad intellectually and thematically interesting.. but its tasty too!

 

Ingredients/Steps for One Serving

 

Basically cut up and add to a bowl in this order… AS PER USUAL: I no good at this measurement thing… so best judgement is need.

  • Two handfuls of Roquette (Argula) – (WOW, the english wiki has nothing on roquette… So here is the french one, look at the pretty pictures) Mixed greens can be substituted if necessary.  But roquette has a zing that completes the salad.  Edit: Thanks, Cliff!  It’s called Argula in the states.
  • Cubed half of a tomato
  • 1/8 of an onion sliced – Three slices about
  • Handful of julienned radish – Small red ones or large white one
  • 1/4 julienned zuchinni (optional) – Not sure if this adds anything but it was in my fridgerater and hence in the picture above. Just more greenery! Sliced cap mushrooms are also a nice neutral complement.
  • 1/3 cup cubed feta (optional) – Optional only if you want to save some calories.  OTHERWISE ROCK THAT FETA! I like the basil, olive oil soaked type… but any will do!
  • 1/4 cup Hot wasabi fried peas (optional) – Okay, not really optional. Because they are awesome. But I suppose you can save some calories again by cutting them out.   I prefer the spicy wasabi ones but you can get them non-wasabi’d.
  • Dress with 1 tbsp of olive oil and 2 tbsps of balsamic vinegar – I actually like to use the olive oil from the jar feta. 🙂
  • A couple dashes of ground pepper on top – Do not even bother if its not fresh ground pepper.
So voila!  The radish, onion and roquette are “spicy” or zingy naturally.  And with the crunchy spicy wasabi peas, balsalmic and ground pepper on top, they are perfectly complimented.  It is a simple but very satisfying salad!
To be fair though, I find celery spicy. – S

February Goals

So I failed a lot in January….

I will not dwell on that and instead I will set  this months goals:

  • Don’t eat after 9. Eat reasonable.
  • Dance once a week.
  • Every day I am able, do yoga.
  • Finish portfolio this month.
  • Clean out my garage.
  • Eat through my pantry so by the end of the month I have to go to the store to eat.  Eat more from meal to meal rather than overbuying.
  • Continue trying to sell my car.

I think this is managable… but then again I thought last month was.  Really my only success was we kept the office and my room clean.  I did TRY to change my name (chickened out) and I TRIED to fix up my car but the part is too expensive so I’m just selling it for less now.

Wasn’t a horrible month just could have done better food wise.  So this month I’m going to try to temper it with some exercise, focus more on that.

Well here we go! – Sheila

New Year New Post – Goals… for at least January

SOOOOO lots has happened and I have not been the best about documenting it.

But rather than making excuses lets jump right into it.

2010

  • We took our moms on a cruise and got to visit Mexico in the process!
  • Learned ukulele and continue striving towards getting beyond just karaoke with it.  It has been a GREAT activity to do with my dad.
  • Got married and the wedding was a grand success! We are soooo lucky.  See wedding.austinandsheila.com for photos, press coverage (WUH?), full ceremony and other fun-ness.
  • Traveled to Europe for our Honeymoon.  France, Spain & Italy!  It was an amazing 16 days where we covered 10 cities! Check it out on Flickr.
  • I’ve started taking photography more serious in general!  It’s been a great creative outlet now that the wedding festivities have died down.  Plus its great to document our first and coming years of marriage.  I purchased my SLR (a canon Rebel) and I’m slowly learning how to use it.
  • Continue forth at work.  It was my first full calendar year as a team lead of the Techrangers at Center for Distributed Learning at University of Central Florida.  A full year of working hands on with my team (11 strong), developing Dredbeard and Zapt and working at improved course development procedures.  I attended my first professional conference, BBWorld 2010 and presented my first poster session.  Very fulfilling!
  • I feel we probably could have done more with SHOUT! Swing but reality is we didn’t have much time!  And really we did what we could with what energy we had. I am still proud that we held a workshop, threw a free dance, taught at least once a month and performed at Celebration.  Overall we continue to grow and learn as teachers.
  • Ooo ran a 5k with only one walking bought!

My biggest personal accomplishments were to get better at setting to-dos and taking care of my personal assets (posting/editing pictures) before  the momentum dies.  Also, being able to be relax and enjoy our wedding weekend was a feat only doable due to good planning and learning to BREATH. I am proud that I was overall unstressed and level headed.

2011

So I don’t do well with goals… or I do but I don’t.  As in I’m a driven person but often I plan TOO much and then feel like a failure even though I got a lot accomplished.  And then use that as an excuse to not move forward…

Here’s my plan.  I’m going to set a yearly manageable goals BUT also hold myself to smaller goals each month that will help me achieve the big goal.  But small…. and not beat myself up if it doesn’t happen.  JUST MOVE FORWARD.

  • BIG RESOLUTION: Do not let stress over rule my life. I honestly believe if I accomplish that it will help with a lot of my issues which includes: using stress as excuse to eat badly or not be active, not enjoying the moment and not feeling fulfilled or obsessing over the little things.
  • HEALTH: I don’t even want to lose weight anymore… which is around 150lbs (10 lbs gained since our October wedding).  I just want to eat reasonable so I have energy and health that I need to do what I need to do.  If weight loss comes with that, even better.  NO MORE EXCUSES.  And no more enslavement to the scale. I plan to not step foot on it except at the doctor’s.
  • RECREATION: Get back to my passions.  Whatever they be I need to take time for myself a little each day.  I need to get back to my creativity!  I need to get back to myself!  And who I am without Austin when need be. As well, I need to as well dance at least once a week, even if its just with Austin in our house.
  • RELATIONSHIPS: Continue to work on appreciating my family and my husband.  I as well want to make more of an effort to keep in touch with long distance friends, even if its just a quick hi on Facebook.
  • PROFESSION: Start learning again!  Take time for professional development  at work and in my free time.  My portfolio also needs a fresh start so I can use it to showcase my MANY passions.  I as well want more of an internet presence (blogging etc) this really is more of a bonus goal… if I get the rest done first.
  • PROJECT: Other than refreshing my portfolio I will get all my dad’s websites redesigned and humming.  So that he may sell his music online.
  • FOR FUN: SEE Orlando.  WHEN we have free time go do some typical “Orlando” things that we haven’t done…..
  • LIFE: GET RID OF CLUTTER. Simplify my life and learn to digitize/organize my stuff and let go of material possessions.  Still have a box in the garage from Boston….  This means as well keeping my backlogged digital assets organized and well backed up…. I want to feel comfortable about my possessions and in control by the end of 2011.

In general I want to get my life in control!  Get it organized and manageable and then build from there!  Not feel so overwhelmed.

January Goals

You’ll see I plan on focusing what bothers me the most… my health.  Here are my steps towards working on the food issue first.

  • Don’t eat after 9pm when I’m going to bed early.
  • Eat normal sized portions and learn when I’m no longer hungry.
  • Only drink more than one alcoholic drink a night once per week.  Because when I drink… I want more food… its a cruel cycle.
  • Dance at least once per week.
  • Get my new portfolio design marked up in HTML 5.
  • Get my car fixed up so I can sell it hopefully in February.
  • Submit my paperwork to change my last name.
  • Keep my office and room clean.  So far they are clean… now just have to maintain.

My Luck

I have an immense amount of it… let’s hope I keep systematically working on myself while also learning to relax.  2011 is going to be an AMAZING year.  I already learned to drive stick and cleaned up the office!

Introducing a new fun side project.

Time Cards Continue – Sheila

Juneish-July: What Sheila’s Been Rolling Round In

So a run down of what I’ve been doing:

  • Turned 24! I feel old.  I know I’m not old.  But I feel it.  Definitely reconciled that I’m a 100% responsible for my own actions.  Filled my taxes this year.  Have an IRA. Am responsible for food getting into my mouth.  Been feeling old for a while though, what with working through school (which getting a job right after college validated this).  Just not as footloose and fancy free since my stint at Boston University or as we called it “Camp BU”.  Not because it was easy… but there was a lot of running around drunk, giggling, sometimes outdoors.  Any who, don’t take me as complaining though I relate to this..  Just this year it finally finally sunk in.  It’s like the question “When you look in the mirror how old do you look?”  Well I finally see an adult.  But that’s okay being an adult has a lot of freedom.  Though we have societal trappings seeming to cage us in, in the end we are free adults with the ability to eat badly, quit our jobs, run away, suffer the consequences, possibly die on the street, but really in the end our choice.  I’D LIKE TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT 6 YEAR OLD CHILD!
  • We did a 4th of July show at Celebration Town Center!  Pictures/video EVENTUALLY to come… not great at posting media assets.  It was 50s themed, and hot and 3.5 hours of constant dancing.  No really… Too hot.
  • One of my bridesmaids was in town from Spain, Aline. We went to Animal Kingdom and Magic Kingdom.  Still not a Disney fan though Animal Kingdom is the best.  Really don’t take advantage of the parks here.  I haven’t been back to Islands of Adventure since I moved here 4ish years ago, and I like that park.
  • Austin turned 27!
  • Annual Birthday camping trip at Blue Springs.  Staff was nicer at Wekiva but the Springs were much nicer for swimming at Blue.  Overall enjoyable though it WAS SO HOT and within an hour of getting there I became a broken woman.  Strained my arms and jumped on a rock (an injury that kept me from dancing for 2 weeks).
  • Sent out my wedding invites! We just solidified/wrote our wedding ceremony.  Now on to fittings, tastings and designing our programs…  Almost complete with all our honeymoon reservations.
  • At work:
    • Helped organizing the parlors for Educauses’s AASCU.
    • Attended BBWorld2010 and presented this poster. Won a droid phone, so now I’m back to smart phones.  I should be happy.  But it complicates things and my fingers tap the wrong keys. Into the the future I hurtle!
    • Attended Front-End Design Conference – This may sound ignorant but I expected it to be less Graphic/UI design and more front-end development.  Either way still enjoyed it and the talks were good refreshers.  Gained most by the talk on iPhone dev/design, good food for thought.  Though I’m not sure when I’ll get to dally in that. People were very nice. Very nice and positive.  Wish that wasn’t so unusual to me.
  • Five Years with Austin as of 7/29. Wow.  Glad we are still lucky and in love. 🙂 Went to St. Augustine to celebrate (our route).  I’ve been meaning to go there for a while but this was our first trip together.  Very nice but very touristy.  ELITIST ALERT! I guess, I’m just spoiled from experiencing the oldness of Europe, in cities that don’t rely seemingly only on tourism.  Hey!  Got to drink good imported beer at the Rendezvous.  Walked around holding hands. Bought tasty soap. Got free drinks due to poor service. Saw an old fort. Worth at least one visit.
  • Been swimming.
  • Been playing ukulele… haven’t posted about this but its awesome.
  • Been reading. Shades of Grey is amazing.
  • Hiring at work.
  • Been busy.

So many more adventures to come as we are 2 months away from the wedding.  Just trying to lose weight, learn ukulele and keep my sanity.  August means heat, fall semester startup at UCF (busiest time of the year at work) and Southern Belle Swing Bash!

Just hoping to keep unstressed and appreciate what I have.

True – S